Welcome to the Information Emporium. How may I aid you?
(???)
(Continue.)
(Say nothing.)
This isn't what I meant... Ah, whatever! Let's finish this.
(The Information Emporium lies ahead.)
(You've waited long for this.)
(You hope its owner is able to relay a wish.)
(Speech is taxed. For free, you may speak ten words.)
Well? What is it? Do you need knowledge or not?
Confused? About what? I may not aid you this way.
Yourself, you say? What's this consciousness gap that ails you?
Why, I assume you're here in search of information, sir.
Why would you hope that I know of your identity?
Does it surprise you that I ignore a nobody's existence?
Indeed, you've kissed my lips. Perhaps I do know something...
This is a mere guess: you look like a rajnathician.
Your name, I believe it is...
Sorry, I ignore it.
Could you really not know of me, the Information Curator?
My name is Yaron, Does this satisfy your curiosity, seeker?
I won't further entertain this! CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?
Knowing who I am, you don't know what I am?
... THUMB! YES, I'M A THUMB. Any other new, creative remarks?
Oh that's-! Excuse me, I... am feeling self-conscious today.
Sir, kindly observe the line of seekers awaiting behind you.
Dear seeker: HAVE YOU ANY NEED FOR MY ASSISTANCE TODAY?
I'd stop asking, if you's start providing answers to me!
You caught me. I'm...
Just lonely, sometimes. That's all.
Oh, my!. I didn't expect this level of... kindness, sir.
Alright, enough sidetracking. Let's return to the matter at hand:
Hmph. Ask something, before I decide to have you escorted.
Really now? What is this profession of yours then, seeker?
Sir, no offense, but you do not seem that cool.
Then you must be a time-waster? If not, what?
You should practice the art of silence some more, seeker.
I see. That's... evident now.
Then, what do rajnathicians do?
No one knows what you do. Not even yourself, sir.
Indeed? Well...,
Rajnathician, you are alright. What do you seek?
That's not how this works. You must know your need.
I didn't say that. You must know what you NEED.
Very well. I'll reveal that knowledge, in exchange for this:
The only truth that matters--tell me: what's my name?
If that's the case, I cannot, fulfill this information trade.
You must pry deeper. Then, you may achieve your goal.
It's Yaron, actually. But close enough. I will tell you now:
What you, sir, want to know, is nothing but nothing.
Finally! With this knowledge, you may inherit the one true fact.
This truth, which has been passed down through generations past...,
... way, way back. Ever since the days of my father...
... (who's 63, still alive and well, living in South America!)...
..., I will reveal it to you, and it'll be great!
Really! This is such precious knowledge, nobody else knows it.
By seeking nothing, you gain it all! You winner :).
By no means! I'll tell you. But you must promise.
Promise to speak this fact only once in your lifetime!
It's too late! You must accept this yoke upon yourself.
Perfect! I will proceed to convey this truth to you.
But before that, do you have any questions regarding this?
From the beginning, you say? You do you, I guess...
A choice? Sure! For old time's sake, here's a choice, friend!
Hehe! Just a quick, healthy joke as the end approaches!
The one, precious, final truth is that you...
Excuse me. Just now, for no reason, I felt confused.
I'm confused about MYSELF. There's a thing I don't understand.
What's my PURPOSE here? Rather, what should I be doing?
Now I know my purpose. Yet again, WHO am I?
The owner of the INFORMATION EMPORIUM would have to know!
(Yikes.)
I appeal to the platonic hug I gave you earlier.
Great! Then, I'd like to know... what is my profession?
(A what?)
Do you know my name? Do I even have one?
(Shucks.)
I'm confused about YOU. Could you broaden my knowledge, please?
Yes. Let's see: In a general sense, WHO are you?
What's your blood-type? ID? Do you have car insurance?
Quite! You've quenched my thirst for knowledge. Not really, but-
No, I know who you are. WHAT are you, sir?
It's a matter of taxonomy. You seem to be a...
Well, now that you ask, you also seem to be...
I meant to say 'a very buff, handsome man'! Jeez!
Well, if you insist, and now that you mention it...,
I have. And I am sorry. I think I'm confused.
Why do you ask so much? That's not your job!
Uh... Oh yeah! Heheheh. Forget about it then, info-man!
No, that's not true. I've replied plenty, to no avail!
(Smooch him.)
Psch... Deal with it. Will you help me or not?
I'm here to inquire for information dear to my profession.
Why, I'm a world-renowed gourmet chef, just passing by!
I am... not a world-renowed chef, just passing by?
Excuse me, I actually don't know what my profession is.
I guess I am a rajnathician, whatever that may be.
We seek forbidden knowledge hoping to attain the final truth.
I don't know. In fact, I dont care to know.
I want you to tell me what I want, actually.
You can't help determine my need, then? Is that it?
Then I NEED to know what I want. Pretty please?
I shall tell you. Your name is: I don't know.
Oh, I know this one! Your name is... Yorlan, right?
I seek nothing. Maybe just to waste your dear time.
Wow, really? I'm so excited, I can't say anything else!
I feel like we're stalling now. We ARE stalling, right?
You know what? This is starting to sound kinda lame.
I hereby solemnly promise to never reveal this funky truth.
Ley's just end this already! I'm beginning to get impatient!
Do I even get a choice in this, like before?